Jet-ski person, selfish fink, May your silly jet-ski sink, May you hit a pile of rocks, Oh Hoonish, summer, coastal pox.

Noisy, smoking, dickhead fool On your loathsome leisure tool, Give us all a jolly lark And sink beside a hungry shark.

Scream as in its fangs you go, Your last attention-seeking show, While on the beach we all join in With ‘Three cheers for the dorsal fin!’